(Gratitude) January 2018

It’s been a long month… But each day has been overflowing with blessings.

1/1 – Even though he didn’t follow through, my brother originally intended to go to NYE service with me. I’m thankful for the willingness to go. He asked about the time before I even asked him if he wanted to go. Maybe not baby steps, but at least the toes are moving.

1/2 – I’m thankful for my best friend’s official office placement for when she finally graduates law school after this semester! We got sent home midday because our water system was broken. Even though I don’t like working from home, I’m still thankful. I really take this as divine intervention. I was so emotionally distressed this morning because of something really awkward and upsetting that happened. The prospect of bumping into the other party at work was giving me anxiety. After Thursday, I won’t ever have to worry about it again.

1/3 – I’m restarting my Bible reading plan. It’s been with some reluctance – sitting down and doing devotionals. But, I’m thankful that God has given me convictions strong enough for me to still do it, and that the time of prayer has been a type of refreshing.

1/4 – This might sound a little odd, but I’m thankful for the IG poetry community. There are a few solid accounts who leave me encouraging comments/compliments regularly. Today, I posted a compilation of my pieces from when my grandfather was in the hospital and the first few weeks after he passed away. One of those really lovely accounts left me a really encouraging comment, sharing her own loss, and reminding me of our Comforter. In general, I’m also thankful for writing. Though it’s not something I’m amazing at, it’s something that I always enjoyed and in the past two years, have come to truly love. I would have gone insane if God didn’t bless me with a love for writing.

1/5 – Today marks the last day of having to feel distressed at work, so I’m thankful for that. Our office was closed yesterday and we all worked from home, so the amount of time I had to spend in the same space as the person who caused me this stress was kept to a minimum. It’s unfortunate that we couldn’t hash things out before they left, to dispel any hard feelings. But, I’m thankful for a specific friend who affirmed my feelings and reactions through the whole situation.

1/6 – Thankful for Costco and sushi buffets, LOL. And that both my cats are now in good health.

1/7 – A couple from my church decided to move to Wilmington, where they teach, to do life with the students and to attend a local church with them. As sad as goodbyes can be, I’m always so amazed by people with such faithful obedience. People whose life choices fully revolve around God’s callings for them never cease to humble and encourage me. I’m so thankful for such faithful believers, and I pray that people will eventually come to say the same for me. I’m always so thankful for such a cute grandma. I’m thankful for NJ gas prices. I’m thankful for today’s sermon. And, I’m thankful for friends who let me drag them around for errands.

1/8 – Thankful that we got sent home early to WFH to avoid the icy roads. Thankful my family was safe.

1/9 – Thankful that it’s not ridiculously cold anymore.

1/10 – Thankful that God provides what He deems necessary, when He deems right.

1/11 – I’m thankful that it’s not below freezing temperatures anymore. I’m thankful for dinner with my parents. I’m thankful that I got the last parking spot on my street. I really wasn’t feeling a longer walk with all my stuff.

1/12 – I’m thankful that despite how many potholes I came across today… my car is safe TT^TT

1/13 – I’m thankful for having plenty of food to eat at home. I’m thankful for friendly, warm, and welcoming people.

1/14 – I’m thankful for some quality time with some of my fellow YAs at church.

1/15 – I took my grandma out for dinner tonight. She told me about her one good friend who calls her frequently to make sure she’s eating and visits her all the time to make sure she isn’t too lonely. I wanted to cry. I’m so, so thankful that she has such a caring friend by her side.

1/16 – Thankful that God got me through the day, because I was legitimately so tired from the moment I woke up.

1/17 – I overslept by an hour this morning… I’m so thankful that I woke up. I’m thankful for warm blankets. I’m thankful it didn’t snow much (as I predicted).

1/18 – I’m thankful for doctors and hospitals and social workers.

1/19 – I’m thankful that it was a short work week. I’ve been mentally checked out and abnormally tired.

1/20 – I’m thankful for being able to finally catch up with one of my dearest sisters. I’m thankful for the few single YAs at church whom I get to be friends with.

1/21 – Thankful for a long day of distractions. THANKFUL FOR THAT EAGLES VICTORY.

1/22 – Thankful for salvaged friendships. Thankful for people who care for me, even though I really don’t deserve it.

1/23 – I’m thankful for friends and sisters whom I can have fruitful and stimulating conversations with, who can help me draw closer to God’s truth. I’m thankful for a brother who has repeatedly checked in on me, from time to time, to see if I’m doing okay. Thankful for the existence of translator services.

1/24 – Thankful that I got the last free parking spot by the DV center today! The group was small and the kids were so sweet. Two of them are kids I met last month. I’m thankful that I got to be there tonight to just hangout with them.

1/25 – I’m thankful for free lunch at work and for a group of co-workers who like each other and do things like take an HQ Trivia break together at 3 almost every day 😂

1/26 – I have really awesome CG leaders and members and I’m thankful for that 🙂

1/27 – I’m thankful that I got to join Bethesda this month. I didn’t know when I’d get to go back or if I ever would go back. But, God presented the sudden opportunity. I felt tempted to back out a few times but God convicted to me go.

1/28 – Thankful for friends who get up early to accompany me. Thankful for people who remain in my life, even though I am sure that I give people enough reason to leave. Truly by God’s grace. I’m thankful that God brought two sort-of friends out to Renewal with me this morning. I’m excited for growing relationships. I’m so humbled by the kind of love God showers on me through friends. I’m thankful for the reminder that God’s grace and forgiveness is thanks to Jesus, and not because of anything I do.

1/29 – I’m thankful for friends with eloquent wisdom. I’m thankful for challenging conversations, even if they’re also at times, painful. I’m thankful for a friend and sister who loves me dearly. I’m thankful for dinner with my grandma and brother – my two favorite people.

1/30 – I’m thankful for God’s grace. I’m thankful for the people He’s given me, people who see whatever good there might be in me, and who don’t define me by my ugliness. I’m thankful for people who care so deeply for me, even though I am so undeserving of such love.

1/31 – I’m thankful for brothers and sisters who care fiercely and aggressively (for a lack of a better word) for my well-being and about my sin issues. I’m eternally thankful for my dear friend and sister who had pizza and dessert delivered to my house because she knew I was having an emotional time 😭 I’m thankful for God’s steadfast love that is wholly independent of the state of my heart, my emotions, and my struggles.

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